Happy New Year!
2017 challenged me more than math–and that’s saying something! I feel like I was constantly pushing up against the proverbial wall and every direction I turned I found yet another wall to push against. Of course, it wasn’t all terrible. I found a great group of friends, a job I love, and had some really fun experiences. But overall, I was not sad to see 2017 go.
New Years Eve this year was a lot of fun-I spent it with good friends and cute kitties. And when the clock struck midnight I felt something that I hadn’t felt in NYE past: hope. I realized just how much I was looking forward to 2018, and felt a huge determination to make 2018 the best year yet.
I wanted to take my time coming up with my New Years Resolutions this year because I wanted them to be more meaningful than a diet I will discard halfway through January. These are to be the themes for my year, infused with intention…and I am counting on you, my readers, to call me out if I am not being accountable.
Here are my 2018 New Years Resolutions:
Be kind to myself in word and deed
It has been pointed out to me that I say negative things about myself without even noticing it. My friend even said to me, “stop being an asshole to yourself!” This one is hard for me because I’m a perfectionist, and sometimes when things aren’t perfect I think, well why bother? The reality is though that no one is perfect. Instead of sweating the small stuff, my intention is to focus on positivity: the things that I do like about myself as well as the positive things I can do every do to change those things I am not so keen on.
I realized that in 2017 I missed out on a lot of fun things just because they made me nervous, like not going to events I was really stoked on because none of my friends wanted to go and I was scared to go by myself. I am taking it in small steps and focusing on doing the things (and going to the events) I want to do. Even if I am by myself, it is a great way to meet new people or have conversations I wouldn’t be able to have if I were surrounded by a group of friends. And if it sucks…I can always leave.
This one goes along with “Be Brave”. I have a tendency to do things that I am comfortable with very well, and to creatively avoid doing things that make me nervous. Going to events by myself is a great example. But I’ve also realized that trying things I am not sure I will like is a great way to expand my creativity and my frame of reference about life. This resolution is all about allowing myself to be curious.
Most of my friends can’t believe I have never been camping. My love for nature developed late in life and is a whole other story that I can share if y’all are interested. But the idea of camping just made me uncomfortable for so many reasons, namely bugs and lack of toilets. I’m fairly resourceful (and I certainly pack for every possible scenario), and I’m not afraid to get down and dirty. But the idea of relinquishing control of my environment has always been too anxiety provoking. So this is the year that its going to happen. Because if I’m resolving to be both more brave and more adventurous, I may as well go camping.
Be open to love
I love love. There’s no better way for me to say it. While I’ve been a serial monogamist my whole life, I’ve recently found myself engaged in shorter relationships interspersed with periods of dating. While that is all well and good, I always felt that there was something missing-I wasn’t finding myself falling head over heels in love like I have in the past. Now, I know that one can’t fall in love all the time. But I can’t deny that I have had a wall up. This resolution is a culmination of all those that came before it in this blog post-opening myself up to loving myself and others more faithfully, deeply, and unapologetically.
I feel so good about these resolutions and I think I will be able to keep all of them. Of course, there are tons of other things that I want to do this year: run a 5k for charity, volunteer more, go to the beach more often…but these are the 5 things that have really been on my heart. The whole point of resolutions is to have specific things to put intention and mindfulness into. I have a feeling that 2018 is going to be a very good year (b”h).